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Startling New Device Unveiled

Boffins have unvieled something this morning which is the result of six years of research and development; a device which performs no function whatsoever.

For years scientists have been trying to develop the ‘Uselessatron’, with various results, but it seemed for all their efforts inventing something of such mindboggling pointlessness seemed beyond them.

But a breakthrough eighteen months ago seems to have bolstered the development and deployment of the idea. “We just discovered that if we do sod all, nothing just happens” said Dr Navinda Moolah, head of development. “We sat around drinking coffee, reading the paper, taking a nap” he continued “and it just happened. Absolutely nothing”.

The unveiling ceremony, taking place at a posh London venue, attracted experts from the tech world, the manufacturing industries and scientific communuity. “I have never seen anything like this” said David Harries of Techworld Inc “I’ve not seen anything at all. The design is absolutely fantastic, totally ‘now’. It’s sleak, fits in your pocket, goes with all décor and surroundings. Plus it’s totally compatible with everything. Amazing”. Another commenter Beverley Harper said “The Uselessatron will revolutionise everything yet appear to make absolutely no difference to anything. That’s genius” she said “It replaces the Fuckallia which I have been using to achieve a zero output or increase in productivity” she added “This does everything the previous device did, with absolutely no improvements” she gushed “plus it’s weightless and invisible, so it’s fully portable”.

Apple Computers have already shown an interest.