7.00 - Dammit, Sandra

Sitcom set in a small shop. Sandra runs her shop, sat mighty golden throne issuing orders to her afeared minions, demanding strict punishments for those who disobey. This week Sandra's Mother-in-Law kills 9 people with a hammer..


CAUTION: Contains sex, orgies, human sacrifice.
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History of Pies

As part of BBC2's pastry season, an evening dedicated to pies. Sir Brian May travels the world looking at pies from different cultures, while Dame Mary Beard discusses the theology and symbolism of pies in classical literature with the Dalai Lama. Also Richard Bacon stars in a specially commissioned play by Alan Ackbourne 'The Baker's Prongs'

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Plump My Pillows

Holiday fun on a budget with Laura Dowe and Frank Sturdy. Tonight Laura and Frank bed down on the layby by junction 9 of the A6, sampling the best Carlisle has to offer in tarmac road surfacing. Plus a special report from guest Sean pertwee who goves his review of Ashby De la Zouche services petrol pump (westbound) as an area for a nice breakfast.

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Channel 4

Wanking on Tinder

Following hot on the heels of 'Married at First Sight' and 'Naked Attraction', this series offers all the thrills and spills with the necessary Covid safety procedures in place. Tonight, will Jayne and Terry finally consummate their relationship? While Therese and Henry enjoy each other and Bernice and Ray suffering severe buffering. But who will come out on top?

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Gold Channel

Whoops Sir, Oooo, Fancy!

Situation comedy from the 1970s. Set in a restaurant with an old man, old woman, young man, young woman, a manager and a camp character. Tonight misunderstandings galore result in red faces all around and a thorough cleansing of the cutlery. Meanwhile, a health inspector traps his balls in the till. With Terry Scott.

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Comedy Channel

Celebrity Special: The Krankies

Another in-depth expose on comedy legends. From their light hearted antics on children’s' television, to the meteoric success of international stardom. From the first tentative steps on stage to playing the Yankee Stadium in NYC, this exclusive feature details the personal & professional sacrifices of what is the funniest duo of all time.

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The Nazi's Dry Cleaner

Their atrocities and crimes were among the most terrifying of all time. But who kept their uniforms clean, crisp and stain free? Cleaning a murderous regimes' uniforms is a tremendous pressure, and in this documentary their former dry cleaner speaks about the stains, marks & blemishes unique to the Nazis clothes.

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Car Park Fights

Live coverage of fighting from the Horse and Carrot, Newnham as local hardmen take on each other for looking at their bird, spilling their pint or saying something incongruous about Milton's Paradise Lost. Tonight Billy 'Main Man' Forrest takes on Joe 'Razor Teeth' McGraw in a tarmac rolling, window smashing climax over a kebab queue.

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Quiz Channel

Doubt It, Mate

Spurious claims akimbo as competitors try to bullshit on everything from legends of Ancient Greek Mythology to when they will finish papering the back room.


Based on another channels' 'Would I lie to you' with the important difference that violence ensues should one side fail to withdraw their claims.

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Disease is rife in other countries and Eamonn Holmes travels the world infecting himself with various exotic Maladies.


This week Eamonn contracts scabies, and travels the Asian continent in search of a cure, meeting hermits and wise men before sinking into a deep depression and hiding in a cave.

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Actors Channel

How to be in a bath

Bath scenes form a major plot device in any drama, and this instructional show tells actors on the sub textural use of soap, flannels and loofas.

Learnt to emote the trauma of being cuckolded with just a sponge, matey and a rubber duck. Features powerful scene with taps.

With Bill Roache.

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Cookery Channel

Clarksons Bargain Meals

Jeremy Clarkson rummages through wheelie bins around Britain and cooks what he finds.

Tonights delights

Bin Juice Soup

Cabbage canopies

Presumably Ham

Acceptably warm mashed something

Suspect chocolate Ice Cream

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Toilet Channel

Toilets of the Rich and Famous

The odyssey continues into the micuration and defecation receptacles of the successful.

Tonight Beyonce. What would you find floating under the lid of Beyonce's toilet lid? Her tonsils may be golden, but what about her turds?

Also a special feature on Madonna's bidet.

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Survival Channel

Bunker Decor

The fifth series of the show which tells you how to survive the coming apocalypse.


This time Sandy and Ray enjoy the company of Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen who turns their sparse bunker into a pit worthy of the Aga Kahn.

They then hunt Bowen, chasing him through woodland until the inevitable happens.Read More

Paranormal 24/7

Calls to the Dead.

Yvette and Karl are back with attempted communication to the afterlife via a Nokia 6021


Tonight Yvette contacts the ghost of Thomas Chippendale the neoclassical 18 century furniture designer who tells her he has no wood in the afterlife.

Meanwhile Karl attempts to communicate with Virgin Media.

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Hip Hop 24/7

Dang bro's crib is dope

In tonightzshow Fern Britton hears some choice music, whilst doin handbreake turns in er stolen BMW in a car park in Gloucester, before beeting it with some mofo who give er some chops in a chip shop.

It's bangin' man, fierce. Like your peepers gonna know the word from gazin'. Dig it.

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