BBC 1 - 7.30

That's My Donkey!

Brand new situation comedy with Bradley Walsh as a man who owns an AI powered holographic donkey. This week hilarity ensues when Bradley gets a job as a dishwasher in a restaurant, but can find no holographic donkey sitter and has to take his super intelligent mule to work - with hilarious results!

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BBC2 - 6pm onwards

Paintings by Stars

BBC 2 presents an evening dedicated to paintings by the rich, famous and obviously better than you.

Feast your orbs on the works of Eamonn Holmes. Gorge on the visual delights of Wayne Rooney. Savour the retinal cortex paradise in oils of Steve Allen.

Featuring narration by a animatronic Richard Baker.Read More

ITV 1 - 9 - 9:34

Whose Nose Is This?

Quiz show where celebrities have to guess the identity of a mystery celebrity via the exploration of their nasal passages.

Linda Baron, Dermot O'Leary, Penelope Keith and Rishi Sunak compete to identify whose notril Lloyd Grossman has his finger up.


Music by Sting..

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Channel 4 - 8pm


Another crime scene baffles beleagured police until Captain Dorothy arrives with a crack team of scientists, experts and geeks to solve the unsolveable whilst also battling personal demons and dealing with interpersnal relationships in a matter which in any real life situation would warrant psychiatric evaluation.

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ALL Day Stumbling

Stumbling around Iraq

On the only channel to provide 24/7 stumbling, today focusses on the craze of moving in a buffoonish manner in Baghdad. See old and young alike in a plethora of trips, missteps and near falls throughout the ancient middle east capital. With edited highlights and commentary byJohn Humphries.

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Sc Fi Channel

Battllestar Retail Establishment

Follow up to the franchise in which the old dude with the hair and the younger one set up a small concession stand and intend to grow the business via a complex set of agreements with neighbouring stores throughout the galaxy. This week, a dispute over tariffs on beans cause mass extermination of humanity.

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Winning 26/8

Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen's Winning

A series documenting how it feels to win, from F1 racing to thrashing your Gran at Canasta.

This week the top designer and modern day fop LLB shows us how it feels to have created a really colour coordinated bathroom, complete with ornate taps and fixtures.

TRIGGER: Features smugness that registers on the Richter Scale.

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Parrot Vision


Squawk squark squark squark squark squark squark squark, squark squark squark squark squark squark! Squark squark squark squark squark squark squark squark squark - squark squark, squark squark squark squark squark squark squark squark squark squark squark squark. Squark squark squark squark. Cracker.

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Food Channel

The Food Report

For too many decades people ahve stuffed their faces with unhealthy food, and research shows this food was unhealthy. Now, Gemma Collins shows you though careful prepartion why unhealthy food is unhealthy, and why unhealthy food, when eaten in large unhealthy quantities, can prove to be unhealthy.

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Mainline Drama


Set in Scotland, Edith is the tale of a daughter who seeks something more than the 1950's offered women of the time. A deep and thoughful exploration of the subjugation of women, the battle for equality and the ever present overbearing authoritarianism of the patriarchy. Featuring Graham Norton as the brutal thug Mr Ormington.

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Living Room Lives

20, Stockhurst Lane

A series which hopes to have one episode dedicated to the every living room in Britain. Today, 20 Stockhurst Lane, where son Dan is angry that Dad wants him out of the hosue tonight because he has a woman coming around, while daughter Louisa shushes them incessantly as the tries to watch Hollyoaks on catchup because the WiFi is down.Read More

Harranging Channel

Live Harranging from Maidenhead

Coverage continues of harranging of public figures in the World Semi-Finals where Loudmouth Louis from Portsmouth has his work cut out as Chopsy Mullholland from Eeat Durham challenges with some fine insults, putdowns and intermittent wailing. This round they challenge a GP receptionist about appointment allocations.

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Double Entendre

Grab My Package

Quiz show where prizes are plenty and contentants can't wait to get their hands on them. By answering the questions and getting points, one of them will come first. Will Gail from Saundersfoot scoop up her goodies? Or will Clive from Salisbury get his hands on them? Or will Mike from Brighton come from behind to claim his victory? Find out. Read More

Top Tech TV

The New Apple Macro

With the release of the new Apple comptuer, the Macro, Apple have again revolutionised home computing by going against conventional thinking and producing a computer about the size of a lorry with a picture of a fruit on the side. The monsterous screen itself requires substantial remodelling of a purchasers property.

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Trumpet Fans TV

Technique of Trumpets

Chris Botti reveals what helps trumpet players make tooting noisesr. In 3 hours he uses the latest technologies to replicate the pursing of lips of everyone from Louis Armstrong to his own kissable cupid's bow. Staring deep into the lens, Botti purses his lips, often in slow motion, allowing not only trumpet technique but sexual ecstacy

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Ornament Channel

24/7 Ornaments

The channel runs footage of rotating ornaments each day, every day and has done for many years. See vases, pots, statuettes, figurines, candle sticks, paper weights, book ends, baubles, globes, diffusers, picture frames, urns and paperweights in glorious HD as the camera slowly pans around each object while a provocative female voice sighs, contentedly.

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