Headline Edition

OPINION:
My anger is unmatched!

I cannot express to you how angry I am. Fuming. Absolutely piping mad! I tell you, if I had a pressure gauge attached to me, it would be in the red. For never have I felt such unrestrained rage. And it’s not just the rage. It’s the undercurrent of anger and the creamy topping of fury which engulf me. People have commented that I do seem miffed, and miffed I may well be. For to my core is a molten core, surrounded by the red hot lava of indignation.

And as I write this, I find my ire growing once more. All those trials and hurdles, cursing me down through the aeons. I find myself surprised that you cannot feel my wrath coming at you through the screen!

When I came down to breakfast this morning, my wife, Sonia, was amazed at my level of irk. And, after a small session which I will admit consisted of quite a lot of shouting, two slammed doors and the destruction of a porcelain pony, settled into a quiet if not slightly uneasy breakfast.

My journey to work was similarly overshadowed by the fierce gloom of unabashed annoyance, with many people suffering what can only be described as my elbows. As co-traveller after co-traveller fell to my rage, their faces a splash of red, careening away from me in startled stumbling, I took my seat with righteous indignation.

As I entered the portals of where I now sit, more vehemence was upon me, such as never a man should bear; as the red mist descended and all civilised reason left my person, finally to out pour this exasperation onto this, my column.