☰   Search
The Date and Time Is Now That is all we know.
Satire. This is Satire.

Headline Edition

Unreliable News from An Unreliable Source

Elusive Point May Be Revealed - Boffins

“We’re looking into what the point is” said lead researcher Derrin McKinley “because the point is that we need to know the point. We have to establish the point as a steady anchor on which we can base our belief that there is one. We need to codify and clarify the point, to emphasise and underline and underpin the activity to which the point – to this juncture – remains ever elusive”

But so-called Point Agnostics have expressed doubt about the validity of the research. Max Spong, who has long doubted the existence of a point but does not deny the possibility of one “I am not sure clearly defining a point helps. The point is indefinable by it’s absence of proof. The point is both there and not there. It’s Schrodinger’s point” he said.

But the research has angered Point Deniers, the growing collective which denies there is a point. “there is absolutely no proof of a point. None. People might say have faith, there is a point but they are deluded. There is no point. You bring me evidence of a point I will kill one person for every letter in the word point in a grizzly orgy of violence”.


By Staff Reporter