Headline Edition

Discrimination against people of the past a thing of the past?

Diversity in our education system has been questioned today by the RSPCDP, The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dead People. The charity did a survey of over 1,800 and were aghast at the results.

“Our children are being failed by the lack of dead people in teaching positions. There’s thousands of dead people, doing nothing all day, laying in a box, just waiting to work in education” said Hartley Squires “think of what those people can bring to the role. We have gay teachers, black and asian teachers, male and female teachers, disabled even. But not one deceased educator. It’s deadist and it has to stop.”.

It’s not the first time the dead have been singled out. Vast swathes of the country are given over to the specific habitation of the deceased, many of them existing in accomodation which many others would consider ‘small’.

Squires went on to say “This demographic has been left out of Government, Sports, Television and the Arts. It’s appalling we can treat what we like to call former people like this. They have a lot to offer, a lot to share. Sure they can’t speak or move and frequently fall apart or leave an ooze on the ground. But that’s just part of their charm. Or possibly their Intestines.”.